#6) Cirque du Soleil

Cirque du Soleil is crazier than bat shit.

In the clip above, miniature women defy physics, gravity and that just kind of polite part of human social law that says "don't do handstands on someone else's ribs." Fo shiz, ladies.

This past weekend my family saw Kooza, Cirque's latest traveling show, and I watched one of the tiny contortionists actually find a way to run around her own head.

Yes. Run around her own head, which was facing the audience. On the ground. Stationary. Run. It was the most horrifying thing I've seen with mine own eyes. I have decided that somehow Cirque du Soleil has managed to find women with no bones. They're probably Latvian.

The thing about Cirque du Soleil performers is this: unlike about 99% of the rest of humanity, they lack whichever innate mechanism human beings have evolved that tells you not to do that shit.

Dig, if you will, this picture: You're riding a bicycle. Another dude is riding a bicycle a few feet behind you. Now, put a long pole with shoulder harnesses between you and have some other dude balance a chair on that pole, and sit on it.

Sounds difficult and not exactly wise, right?

Now, do it ON A WIRE 50 FEET IN THE AIR while wearing funny hats with feathers that dangle into your eyes. Oh. God. Damn.

I'm not even going to bring up the lady that was launched off a springboard with both of her legs attached to a single stilt.