Thinking that the guy who plays the D.A. on Law and Order could and should be elected President of the United States of America in 2008 is crazier than bat shit.
One of the first clues that the esteemed news media should have picked up on when they anointed Fred Dalton Thompson, a.k.a. District Attorney and King of All Things Inappropriately Folksy Arthur Branch, the Republican front-runner and Savior of America was the fact that he has an IMDB page.
Anyone that has an IMDB page should automatically be viewed with suspicion, and if your principal occupation for the last several years was playing the guy who showed up in the last two scenes of Law and Order and told off Sam Waterstone/A.D.A Jack McCoy? You make our list!
For one, no one that Red State would EVER be voted to a position of power in anything-goes New York City.
Guiliani (future post) may have traded Times Square's hookers for Disneyland, but it really remains the only city in America where passing a naked man with a glow-stick strapped to his penis who was singing N'Sync tunes on a bench in Bryant Park at 4 p.m. would just be viewed with vague suspicion, but no one would have a visible reaction. In New York City, you could be on fire, and the passers-by that actually did notice you would assume you were performance art.
Fred Thompson also always has crazy-eye. That kind of 1000-mile stare thing that makes you think that he's wondering what you'd look like roasting on a spit when he looks at the camera. For being in movies like The Hunt for Red October and the critically-esteemed Looking For Comedy in the Muslim World, he is surprisingly un-photogenic.
He's the anti-J.F.K. And dissing J.F.K. is like saying you support genocide or think its great that the New Kids on the Block got back together. Reeking of bat shit. Everybody loves J.F.K. Except Probably Castro (See Foreign Dictators).
Add to that the fact that - IN SPITE OF THE FACT THE HE WAS A UNITED STATES SENATOR FROM TENNESSEE (which gave us both Al Gore and Dolly Parton. Think about that for a second.) - when talking about American political issues, foreign affairs and oh, anything involving higher thinking, he sounded like a weird Regan montage put together by someone who didn't speak English, and you've got the point.
No wait! It's better! Fred Thompson was born in 1942. The picture above, courtesy of Wikipedia, is from 2007. Those are his children.
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