Foreign Dictators, for the most part, are way, way crazier than bat shit.
In this series we examine the little things that make them their own precious selves.
Kim Jong-Il, the great leader of Fortress North Korea, is such an easy target he might as well have a bullseye that says "CRAZY" in the middle of his forehead.
This guy has that magical "it" that can make hundreds of millions of people afraid of you and leave so-called world powers like the United States contemplating whether a ban on Segways or Maker's Mark would have any effect on diplomatic relations.
I believe that "it" involves plutonium and the world's 4th largest standing army.
From what people say who manage to escape, North Korea is a land of interment camps and mass starvation, but Kim Jong-Il has such a tight grip on the nation that any time a Western journalist manages to infiltrate Pyongyang they are shuffled about with a legion of handlers who take them from tiny depressing apartment to tiny depressing apartment where entire families pay homage to the Dear Leader every 15 seconds. His picture is the only one on the walls. People who have their sight restored after cataract surgery don't thank the doctors. They prostrate themselves in front of pictures of Kim Jong-Il. He's like Jesus, but short and Korean. And evil.
And to top it all off this guy has some serious quirks, even beyond the Falcon Crest glasses. It is rumored that he has a thing for whiskey and he perms his hair. Oh yeah, and he can make thousands of children dress up in costumes and perform dances for him. Whenever he wants. And he does.
There are rumors he wants to get on FaceBook. Let's just hope he doesn't really. I wouldn't turn down that friend request. No way.
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