Because he is only the host of a reality TV show about fashion on basic cable and not an international pop star who has teenage Japanese girls peeing in their pants when he walks by, wearing a cape and under an umbrella with his tiny children running alongside in duck masks, Tim Gunn is not famous enough for the Bat Shit Hall of Fame.
He is, nonetheless, crazier than bat shit.
His look in the photo above would lead you to believe that someone just told them they have amputated a leg. Instead, he is looking at someone wearing something tacky.
The Fringe Festival is running in New York City this week, and on the slate is a little number called "Tim Gunn's Podcast (A Reality Chamber Opera)". The composer has taken Tim Gunn's podcast of the episode of "Project Runway" in which the contestants had to design a gown for Miss USA's trip to the Miss Universe pageant and set it to music. A baritone sings the podcast. Its ludicrousity is overwhelming.
While watching "Project Runway" and the dashing and ever-perfectly-coiffed King of Gay you can see how what he's saying makes sense. Saying that a dress looks like a log, if it does, in fact, look like a log, is fair game. However, when you start lamenting in your podcast about a dress that resembles a log, you just sound batshit crazy. What next? A car shaped like a leprechaun? SAT questions on the August 1987 issue of "Tiger Beat"? A New Kids on the Block Reunion Tour? Oh... wait... shit...
Tim's frail sensibilities and ability to be so horrified by pieces of clothing that are going awry makes you wonder how he handles actual crisis situations. Say, car accidents. Cancer. Starbucks being out of Chai.
I will let Tim Gunn's writing - in his "Project Runway" blog - speak for itself, however, as to why he makes our list:
Kelli is out. She chose Daniel as her teammate. The lion's share of the fabric chosen was black. It was punctuated with leopard (Brooke had cautioned Kelli: "Watch the leopard!") and some odd blue fabric on the bustline that looked like a non sequitur. Daniel was assigned the construction of a black pencil skirt with ruching, but, owing to myriad mishaps, it took two-plus attempts to get it right. Kelli worked on a Kelli-esque bustier top that incorporated the leopard. The day-to-evening transition was offered through a shrunken jacket with a 360-degree peplum: It comes off at night. What was impossible to overcome was how cheap and tawdry the outfit looked, especially the bare midriff: Brooke's character would look like a hooker, not a power broker. Kelli, we will sincerely miss you!
Kelli, you suck. I love you! Wha?
Yet, we do admit that Tim Gunn's particular brand of crazy isn't all bad.
"Tim Gunn's Guide to Style" serves the same purpose in society as TLC's "What Not to Wear," which is getting pudgy women from fourth-class cities to stop dressing like Mormon Fundamentalists and/or whores (future posts), and that is a service to society as a whole.
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